See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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