Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
