my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
