I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
