so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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