So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
