So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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