why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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