let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
