apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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