I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
