you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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