I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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