this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
