how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
