North Korea, Best Korea!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
