My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
