whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
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