Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
