We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
