Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
