Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
