put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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