He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If I die, sorry about rent.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
