Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
