How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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