I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
