You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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