you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
