i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
