oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
