i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
