But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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