they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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