If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
