Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
