I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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