Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
