You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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