a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
