So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize