Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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