Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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