i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
