The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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