..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
