I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
