Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
