You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize