Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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