problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
