he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
