Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Come see our sink grown plant.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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