Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
