I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
