we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
