omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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