I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
